Joke :By all Means... MARRY!

**I** **recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.** **
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
**David** **Bissonette** **

**When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him
keep her.** **
**Sacha Guitry** **

**After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just
can't face each other, but still they stay together.** **
**Hemant Joshi** **

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a
bad one, you'll become a philosopher. **Socrates** **

**Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.**
**Dumas** **

**The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What
does a woman want?** **
**Sigmund Freud** **

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
**Anonymous** **

**"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a
restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and
dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."** **
**Henny Youngman** **

**"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."** **
**Sam Kinison** **

**"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic
banking. It's called marriage."** **
**James Holt McGavran** **

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second
one didn't."
**Patrick** **Murray** **

**Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming** **
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
**Nash** **

**The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
once...** **
**Anonymous** **

**You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.** **
**Henny Youngman** **

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
**Rodney Dangerfield** **

**A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.** **
**Milton** **Berle** **

**Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.** **
**Anonymous** **

**A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he
received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have
mine."** **
**Anonymous** **

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."